Updates

Will be coming shortly. I have lots of pictures to post, and thoughts and stories to share, but at the moment I'm trying to save this semester from complete and utter ruin and disaster. It's kind of a bummer, this one was looking to be a little promising, but nope, not looking like it's going to be a good one after all. I guess there's always next semester? More on that later.

Just to give you a little preview...we now have a love mattress in our living room...stay tuned

Water Heaters

Maybe one of the most undervalued pieces of technology ever? Think about how much life would suck if we didn't have hot water. No one would shower, people would smell like crap. You couldn't properly wash dishes, etc. Scott and Will just learned this lesson the hard way. You never know what ya got, till its gone. Also, I'm pretty sure their shrieks of terror as they both tried to take quick showers are going to haunt me for the rest of my life...I wish I could post audio files or something so you would know what I am talking about. I had to put up with tons of screaming for about 4 minutes each, and Will observed that he was as big as a 3 year old...great

I'll just let this picture speak for itself. Everyone, meet my roommate Will. He was trying to whack it in the living room, a big no no in our dorm as far as we are concerned, so Scott decided to go out there with my camera and catch him in the act. I guess Scott wasn't fast enough, so Will had enough time to collect himself and give himself a little dignity while at the same time maintaining a sense of classiness that he always seems to keep around him. A+ picture.

Also, Ryan just left his computer up, unlocked, and he is in Houston. Time to work my magic.

Halloween Hijinks pt. deux

I forgot to add this part, so it's not really an update. Lacey, in a valiant effort to regain her 30 dollars she had to spend to buy new shower curtains and a rug, asked Ryan for the money, since it was obviously his fault. He told her that he had already bought them a rug, which they refused, but that he would gladly pay for the rug. She wanted him to pay for the curtain too, so thats when things went real sour. His opinion was that they could have just washed both the rug and the curtain, and not had to pay anything or buy anything new, but apparently Chelsea would have none of that, so she wanted it all gone, so they bought new things. In his opinion, he didn't ruin it, so she wasn't getting his money. It seems the old adage "desperate times call for desperate measures" never held as much weight as it did now, since Chelsea then resorted to having her mother call both Will and Ryan's parents. Not only did her mother inform Ryan's mother what had happened that night, she also relayed information of events that portrayed Ryan as a trouble maker and drunk, to say the least. Ryan however, as I hope you have already surmised, is no dimwit. He had heard of Lacey's plan, and in a brilliant strategic maneuver, had headed off her parents and called his first, explaining that he was sick, and that this girl was a crazy idiot. That is where we are at right now, with Lacey's attempt at parental intervention thwarted and the money still not delivered.

Computers, and how to use them

Lesson #1-always shut down your computer, and have a password set up, so that your roommates can not find out that you have left your computer just lying around after you went to class, and then they can get on and put beastiality porn as your background and mess with your facebook. Will is about to learn this lesson the hard way. Ladies and Gentlemen, please take note, do not, I repeat, do not, make the mistake that my roommate Will just made...

this is just part 1 in a multi-part series.

update: it is 2:30 am, he got back from class, and almost immediately we went out, I came back at like 1, but he is still out. Long story short, he hasn't looked at his computer yet. wow

Halloween Hijinks

Well, it's only been two days, and I already have new material, or rather, and update to a story that has already happened that I planned on writing about anyway, so this is the next story I'm going to tell. I'm just gonna go ahead and pull a Tarantino and give you the punchline right away..."We will talk to them and negotiate." Ok, so working backwards, the story started a week ago, Halloween night. My two roommates, obviously, and some girls down the hall, along with our next door neighbors and their next door neighbors, were all going out to some party. We're all friends, so its not like it was just a random group trying to find a party. Anyway, first off, Ryan and Will were going out in bathrobes, that was their getup, so to speak. Where they got these bathrobes, I'll never know, but if memory serves me correctly, they also added some shades into the mix. So they all get out to the parking garage, get in their cars, ask the person they thought knew where the party was, where it was exactly, and of course it turns out that he thought they knew where the party was...so they're stumped, just sitting out there in the parking lot, looking like a bunch of bums and sluts. Eventually one of them locates a party, and they're off.

Lots of dancing and drinking is involved naturally, and then the cops come, and Will decides to jump the fence, but everyone else stays. While I might question why he was being a paranoid bitch, I gotta give him props for playing it safe rather than taking a chance of getting an MIP or worse, so good call buddy. So one of my roommates is running across a major street in our town, right next to a railroad, in a bathrobe with some kids he doesn't even know, one of whom tried to initially knock down the fence by body slamming it, in the middle of the night. Somehow the friends who stayed at the party do not get in trouble, and they eventually meet up with Will and find another party. Now it is important to note, from what I'm told, that Ryan is not inebriated at this point in time, but as soon as they get to the other party, shots are downed in rapid succession, and so is Ryan, as a result.

Eventually, they make their way back here, but there is a problem. They get back at like, 2:30, but I went to bed at 1:30, locking the front door because I figured they had a key, because common sense normally dictates that you take a key to your own room with you wherever you go, but it never crossed my mind that common sense had never dictated anything to my roommates in their entire lives. Oh well, their fault. So they are locked out, I'm passed out two doors away so I can't hear them, and wouldn't have woken up even if they had an airhorn, so they make their way down the end of the hall to hang out with the girls.

Here is where some more explaining is needed. There are four girls in that room, same as ours, and their situation is the same, they are in groups of two in terms of who knew each other before college, and really, they couldn't be more different. Two of the girls, the ones who did not go out to the party, came from Klein, Scott's school, and are pretty conservative, to say the least. One, Chelsea, is the type of girl you can make a notebook out of, writing down everything she says. She backs abstinence, the Bible, modesty, has a phobia of vomit (this is called foreshadowing), and eats way too much candy. This leads to her being hyper and talkative all the time, kind of a jibber jabber type of conversationalist, but I doubt going on a non sugar diet would help her anyway. The other girl is Lacey, who is kind of less important in this story, but still, very uptight, got very upset when she learned some friends of ours, who coincidentally were edge, broke, had never seen weed before, backs the Lord, etc. She is never really in the room however, partly because she hangs out with her sister and atheist "friend with benefits" (thats a whole other story), and partly because she doesn't get along with the other two girls, Jill and Sloane. Jill and Sloane hail from Sulphur Springs, Texas...yep, never heard of it either, but apparently they are on the Food Network from time to time with their amazing festivals, such as a Stew Festival and some others of note, which hopefully I will get to keep track of. I could talk about them a lot, but thats a whole other blog as well, basically, they have the East Texas accent, are pretty hot, really nice, not as uptight, at all, have recently become fans of weed and booze, come from a basically segregated town, hold dubious racial opinions, not entirely their fault, and really just are a stark contrast to their roommates. We met them through knowing Lacey and Chelsea, but we hang out more with Jill and Sloane now, well, because lets face it, they're more fun to be around. Great girls, backed hard, so lets continue the story.

Will and Ryan are in the room, and of course it's Halloween and Chelsea LOVES candy, which means there is always some in there. They have a huge bowl, and at the moment it is full of a candy corn and nut mix, with some M&M's thrown in for good measure. The accounts of what happened, as told to me, are somewhat sketchy, so I can't take a lot of artistic license with the following story, it's just going to be the facts. Ryan proceeded to spit up in the bowl, go to Chelsea and Lacey's bathroom instead of Jill and Sloane's (it is a 4 room 4 occupant 2 bath room), and ends up getting puke on the rug and the curtain. When Will realizes what is happening, he tries to go in and help, but Ryan is so drunk that he thinks the shower curtain is a wall, and tries to lean on it. Bad idea...he falls into the bath tub, on his puke that was on the curtain, with a yell of "OH FUCK". Chelsea decides to come out and see what the fuss is about, and when she sees, proceeds to "shake like she was having a seizure". Who would have thought that a phobia of throw up could be so serious? Long story short, she kicks them out, has the cleaning ladies come up and clean it up, and she and Lacey refuse to talk to them now. At least she didn't rat them out to the dorm authorities.

So the update today is that they want compensation for the rug. There seems to have been some miscommunication on both ends, because Ryan had gotten a rug the next day, and went to give it to them, when they told him "Go away", which he meant to mean "we don't want the rug", when they didn't even know they had it, so that just confused everyone. So today while I'm half asleep at 2pm, I hear Lacey come in and talk with Scott, and apparently, she DOES want a rug, or actually $30 because they already got a new one, or else she will have her mother talk to Ryan's...OOF. Ryan's response? "We will talk to them and negotiate."

Ryan isn't the only one facing fallout from the incident. Apparently Jill and Sloane's wild ways have upset their roommates, who blame them for Ryan not being able to handle his liquor. They had a roommate discussion, about their 5th this year (so many stories to tell!), and told them that none of their friends are allowed in their room. I have also heard rumors that Lacey and Chelsea want to move out after this semester. It seems my roommates have a natural knack to weave destruction and drama wherever they go, but at least it gives me a good laugh, which is all that really matters.

I also mentioned in the other blog that I rolled my ankle on some shampoo bottle that was in my room from when we had to take down the curtain...it seems he also took down our curtain in his drunken state that night. It is currently bent to an almost 45 degree angle, how its on there still I don't know. That angle is an exaggeration, but it is pretty fucked up. This room is getting a bad reputation...

Also, they just now made Scott go down with a backpack, and I was a little perplexed. They come back up, and they had sneaked 12 Shiner tall boys in, with a hoodie to keep it from rattling, naturally. They are drinking one each to toast to their success in getting around the 9pm+ bag check rule. Best dudes, backed hard.

Updates soon..I hope

I probably should have started this earlier, because it's going to be hard to remember things that have happened over the school year so far, but here's something that happened just the other day. Just a little background, I live in a two bedroom 4 occupant dorm room. My roommate, Scott, is a good friend of mine from home, and he happened to know one of the other dudes, Will, who is rooming with Ryan, so we ended up together in this room. They are the best dudes ever, funny as hell, and have already gotten in drunken fights, had pregnancy scares, etc., but thats for a later blog I guess. Back to the recent story, Will went home over the weekend to Spring, and Scott was there too, but because he had mono, so it was just myself and Ryan. I was walking by his room the other day and I see him hanging up a black curtain over his window. I use these terms loosely, because he was actually hammering it into the wall with nails over the window, and it was a black blanket that he said he "got off of Will's bed". As usual I didn't ask any questions. Later that night Will gets back, walks into the room, and I hear a thud and a yell of "what the fuck". I walk in to see the room pitch black, and Will a little perplexed. It seems that Ryan had removed all of the light bulbs so Will couldn't see, plus the curtain over the window, and then angled the bed that is normally parallel to the entrance, to slant a little to where its end was pointed at the entrance, which naturally Will ran into. When he got back in, Ryan was pretty satisfied with himself for a prank well done, and I had a pretty good laugh. On the way back in to my room, I rolled my ankle on some shampoo that was left on my room after the shower curtain was pulled down...so many stories to tell....